Voices In My Head (Brent's Blog)

Hey, I Made Urban Dictionary!

2009-11-20T19:17:39Z

I make up at least one piece of slang for almost every book I write. I know a lot of authors have different opinions on this, but I find it hopelessly distracting when I read a book set in the "present" and the pop culture references are out-of-date -- and the book is only 2-3 years old! (Slang changes so fast, especially when you're writing for teens). Even when I'm reading a book that's supposed to be set in specific place and time, I find that when the references seem too dated, unless it's a comic novel, it makes the main characters sound silly, taking you out of the story.

Anyway, I try to make up slang that will sound current when my book is published, but also ten years from then when the book is hopefully still in print! When I was writing Geography Club, I knew I wanted a slang expression that could mean something either really good or really bad: "Hot damn!" or "Holy s***!"

My solution to give my book the intended "timeless" quality was to go back in time for my slang. I picked the movie Mary Poppins, which I figured everyone has seen and has been popular so long that I could be sure that it would be popular for years to come. Then I took the word "supercalifragilisticexpialadocious," which is sort of the opposite of hip, and shorted it to "docious," thinking it would be sort of the ironic thing that could become a piece of random slang.

For a long time, "docious" was just a place-holder word in the novel. But no matter how long I thought about it, I couldn't come up with anything I liked better (sadly, this is how too many of my decisions are made!). So in the end, that's what made it into print.
And what do you know! The word has made UrbanDictionary.com!

Docious: (1) an adjective used to describe a person, thing, place that is ultra hip and cool. Derived from the infamous "supercalifragilisticexpialadocious." (2) exceptional, fantastic, badass. origin ~ Supercalifragilisticexpialidocious. Your pogo stick is totally docious. (3) short for supercalifragilisticexpialidocious;can be used as an exclamation with good meaning or bad meaning. dude, that song is totally docious

I tried to make my characters sound hip by making up hip-sounding slang, which became actual hip-sounding slang. Hey, it's like a Star Trek episode!

It's all cool,

Brent Hartinger

My Books:

* Project Sweet Life
* Dreamquest
* Split Screen: Attack of the Soul-Sucking Brain Zombies/Bride of the Soul-Sucking Brain Zombies
* Grand & Humble
* The Order of the Poison Oak
* The Last Chance Texaco
* Geography Club

Meld with "Brent's Brain"
Explore "TheTorchOnline.com"
I Twitter

What's On My Mind

2009-10-01T18:18:46Z

Wow, this is pretty much the perfect response to someone who wants to ban (or restrict access to) children's books with gay themes.
Can anything else go wrong with the upcoming movie production of The Hobbit? Oh, you betcha!
If you didn't read this article on kids coming out in middle school, you should.
Thomas Friedman has been wrong about a lot of things in the last eight years (*cough* Iraq War *cough*). But he's right about this, which is pretty much the country's number one problem. Problem is, he doesn't say the obvious: this is 99% the fault of the Republicans, who, thanks to Karl Rove (and Lee Atwater before him), chose this as a deliberate political strategy.

It's all cool,

Brent Hartinger

My Books:

* Project Sweet Life
* Dreamquest
* Split Screen: Attack of the Soul-Sucking Brain Zombies/Bride of the Soul-Sucking Brain Zombies
* Grand & Humble
* The Order of the Poison Oak
* The Last Chance Texaco
* Geography Club

Meld with "Brent's Brain"
Explore "TheTorchOnline.com"
I Twitter

Two Kinda Cool Things

2009-09-10T19:54:06Z

My interview with Susan "Cindy Brady" Olsen, about The Brady Bunch Variety Hour -- considered one of the worst shows of all time. Funny stuff!
An interview with me about Banned Books Week.

Presented Without Comment

2009-05-29T19:27:38Z

From Martin Luther King's A Letter From a Birmingham Jail:

First, I must confess that over the past few years I have been gravely disappointed with the white moderate. I have almost reached the regrettable conclusion that the Negro's great stumbling block in his stride toward freedom is not the White Citizen's Counciler or the Ku Klux Klanner, but the white moderate, who is more devoted to "order" than to justice; who prefers a negative peace which is the absence of tension to a positive peace which is the presence of justice; who constantly says: "I agree with you in the goal you seek, but I cannot agree with your methods of direct action"; who paternalistically believes he can set the timetable for another man's freedom; who lives by a mythical concept of time and who constantly advises the Negro to wait for a "more convenient season." Shallow understanding from people of good will is more frustrating than absolute misunderstanding from people of ill will. Lukewarm acceptance is much more bewildering than outright rejection.

It's all cool,

Brent Hartinger

My Books:

* Project Sweet Life
* Dreamquest
* Split Screen: Attack of the Soul-Sucking Brain Zombies/Bride of the Soul-Sucking Brain Zombies
* Grand & Humble
* The Order of the Poison Oak
* The Last Chance Texaco
* Geography Club

Meld with "Brent's Brain"
Explore "TheTorchOnline.com"
I Twitter

GEOGRAPHY CLUB Under Fire Again: My Response

2009-04-11T00:06:38Z

So Geography Club is under fire by book banners yet again, this time in West Bend, Wisconsin. I wrote an essay response for the Milwaukee paper (the nearby daily), but they didn't print it.

But -- you luck folks -- here it is!

It's hard not to take it personally when someone wants to ban your book.

A group of folks in West Bend have made a varying list of demands regarding my 2003 teen novel, Geography Club: ban it, put a warning label on it, put it somewhere where teenagers can't get it without permission from their parents, or buy books to "balance" it that show what a horrible, immoral "lifestyle" being gay is.

My book has been out for more than six years, sold tens of thousands of copies, received almost unanimously good reviews, won many honors, and is currently being adapted for the movies.

But truthfully, this is not the first time that some people, often with the backing of national conservative Christian activist groups, have tried to ban the book. Libraries are, of course, about open access to information, and there's really not much more fundamental in America than the right to decide for ourselves what we want to read, and what we want our kids to read.

These activists, on the other hand, want to make the decision for the rest of us. So they make ridiculous assertions, based on the inclusion of a few swear words in my book, that it's "pornographic."

Oftentimes their demands sound reasonable. Why not put a sticker on a book that some find offensive? But who decides what's "offensive"? Trust me: there is something in every book that someone somewhere doesn't like. Should a twelve-year-old go into the woods alone with a loaded gun? One does in Where the Red Fern grows. Should kids always show respect to their parents? They don't in Roald Dahl's Matilda.

Why not put "controversial" books in a special section where the books require parental approval to be checked out? Again, who decides what's "controversial"? And for the record, the real point of this strategy isn't to give parents "choice"; it's to drive down circulations, which is what libraries use to determine their collections, making it so they can't justify buying similar books.

Why not buy "anti-gay" books to satisfy people who feel that homosexuality is a horrible, immoral lifestyle? Every librarian I've ever met tries hard to satisfy the needs of their own community and to have a broad, diverse collection. But while I know it's an article of faith among some that homosexuality is a "choice" and that the "media" are burying the "truth" about how horrible the "gay lifestyle" is, these are not the books that respected authors and educators are writing; few of these books exist and even fewer are published and reviewed by respected sources because they're mostly based on falsehoods and misrepresentations.

Once you are the subject of these book debates a number of times, as I have been, you quickly realize something: some people really dislike, and even fear, gay people and their inclusion in our communities.

Ironically, anti-gay prejudice is part of the reason why I wrote my book in the first place.

I wish everyone who thinks my books are not "appropriate" for teenagers could read my mail for one single week -- the avalanche of touching emails I receive from lonely or harassed gay and lesbian teens and their friends, so grateful to see gay characters portrayed accurately and with dignity, not merely stereotypes or the punchline of jokes.

And let it be noted: plenty of parents want their kids reading my books. I frequently hear from parents who've read my books with their teens. In one of the most flattering emails I've ever received, one teenager said, "I gave my parents your book and said, 'Please read this. This is how I feel.'"

So I think my critics really miss the point.

In every teen book I've ever written, gay-themed or not, there is a moment when the main character has to choose between moving beyond his or her own little bubble -- doing what would make him or her momentarily happy or comfortable -- and putting those selfish prejudices and concerns aside, and committing to a larger cause, a greater good. In my mind, that's the choice
every teen confronts, again and again, because it's the difference between a child and an adult.

Do books with that message have a place in libraries and in the hands of teenagers and their parents?

Absolutely. In fact, there might be a few adults in West Bend who could benefit from reading books like that too.

It's all cool,

Brent Hartinger

So Speaking of My Latest Book...

2009-04-07T01:56:06Z

So, um, my latest book, Project Sweet Life, is out, and the reviews, uh, really good:

"A hilarious story filled with mishaps, close calls, and outrageous adventures. Peppered with Dave’s mom’s strange culinary creations (fish stick stew, spaghetti meatloaf, canned-tuna tacos, anyone?)...the novel will be especially appealing to middle school boys."
-- School Library Journal

"The characters ring true, and teens will appreciate that the trio puts more effort into evading work than they would have expended at a real job. An amusing story with great teen appeal."
-- Booklist

"Marked by sly wit and a certain old-fashioned jauntiness, this tale of three chums on a quest for indolence strikes many a wish-fulfillment fancy...Hartinger blends urban legend with the actual history of Tacoma’s routing of its Chinese community (author’s note included) to craft an irresistible setting (who wouldn’t want to explore lost tunnels under a city in search of treasure?), humorous episodes tinged with mild danger, and a light-hearted mystery"
-- BCCB

"This comedy of errors builds quickly and surely, with each potential scheme ending in disaster yet spawning ever new possibilities. Hartinger is relentless in ramping up the tension on his young characters. He does so with wit and flair, moreover, building into the mix an episode from the racially troubled history of Tacoma, Washington...Lovable, flawed, and genuinely charming, Hartinger's characters drive the story...here is a funny, realistic yet whimsical story delivered up with loving care."
-- CLCD

"Another winning novel from the bestselling author."
-- TeenReads.com

"This book was so much fun...Project Sweet Life was sneak up on me good, it kept getting better. Highly Recommended."
-- The HappyNappyBookseller

"This book was hilarious and had me turning pages to see what the next Project Sweet Life plan would be. The best part was that none of it ever felt like it was unrealistic -- I really believed that the crazy adventures and money schemes could actually work!
Author Brent Hartinger has the perfect voice of teen boys. His characters sounded exactly like the teen boys I know."
-- GreenBeanTeenQueen

Uh, wanna buy it? Or try an independent bookstore.

It's all cool,

Brent Hartinger

Wherein I Go to Mr. Gay World!

2009-03-08T01:32:27Z

So I mentioned a few weeks ago that I happened to be at the Mr. Gay World contest in Vancouver, British Columbia. Here's the video I put together:

Gay video from AfterElton.com

It's all cool,

Brent Hartinger

My New Book is Out! PROJECT SWEET LIFE

2009-02-12T22:04:27Z

So as I mentioned yesterday, I have a new teen book just out, Project Sweet Life. Here's the jacket blurb:

"This summer was going to be the sweet life and now it's not."

Dave and his two best friends are looking forward to a sweet summer of freedom, but their fathers have another idea. Instead of spending the summer swimming, biking, and kicking back, the three fifteen-year-olds are supposed to get jobs. Dave, Victor, and Curtis have a plan, though: They're going to tell their fathers they have jobs but not actually get them. The trouble is, their dads are going to want to see that they're actually bringing in money. And that means finding a way to get rich quick…without breaking the law, and without doing any work.

But as the summer passes and the three friends try everything from attempting to catch bank robbers, to scientifically calculating the "correct" number of jelly beans in a contest jar, to diving for sunken treasure, they soon discover that things may not be quite as simple as they thought!

So far, I've been very plesed with the reviews:

"An amusing story with great teen appeal." -- Booklist

"Lovable, flawed, and genuinely charming, Hartinger's characters drive the story...here is a funny, realistic yet whimsical story delivered up with loving care."-- CLCD

"An ingenious plot with a little Tom Sawyer, a little Homer Price, and a lotta laughs! That's what I call 'sweet!'" -- Michael Cart, Booklist columnist

"Funny and touching at turns, this is a terrific book for boys (though not limited to them, of course) who want humor in books." -- The Goddess of YA Literature

"It all comes together exquisitely in a fast-paced, fun, and occasionally freaky tale on (and sometimes under) the streets and shores of Tacoma." -- Richie Partington, RichiesPicks.com

So if it sounds interesting to you, please ask for it (or request it!) at your local library, or, if you're interested in buying it online, consider an independent bookstore, or Amazon.

And if you're in the media and want a review copy, just let me know, so I can pass your request onto my publicist at HarperCollins: brentsbrain@gmail.com

It's all cool,

Brent Hartinger

New Fantasy Website! (Read: I Am Certifiably Insane)

2009-02-11T22:17:36Z

So today is the day that my business partners and I are debuting a brand spanking new website, TheTorchOnline.com, devoted entirely to fantasy: movies, TV, games, theater, books, web series, graphic novels, etc. I'm the editor, and we will have daily-updated reporting of fantasy-related news, commentary, interviews, and reviews in both text and video format. Eventually--hopefully, in, like, a month or two--I also plan to feature my own original fantasy webisode programming, the first series of which I'm writing and directing.

How do I do all this and also write books (the latest of which, Project Sweet Life, came out this week)? The answer is I'm bats**t crazy. Absolutely certifiably insane.

But for those of you who have asked me to do any kind of speaking engagement late, and I've said no, this is the reason why. Apparently, I've decided to sit at my computer typing and editing video for the next three years.

Even so, I'm enormously proud of our new website, so please...check it out!

And if you like it, please forward the link to 30,000 of your friends!

It's all cool,

Brent Hartinger

The Problem With Self-Censorship

2009-02-04T18:12:07Z

So School Library Journal has a really terrific article up about what I think is a much more dangerous form of censorship than some librarian or teacher simply banning a book from a library or school: it's self-censorship, the notion that librarians and teachers are deciding not to include certain books in their collections, and authors are deciding not to write about certain things in their books, simply because of the subject matter of the book, out of fear about what the reaction might be.

This issue is an issue I know something about, because I'm certain the number one issue that inspires self-censorship on the part of libraries and schools is gay issues.

Before I was a published author, I used to hear terms like "self-censorship" and think: "What a bunch of bunk!" Now I understand how insideous it can be, and it can really screw with an author's head and affect the quality and diversity of books not just in a collection, but available to the world at any moment in time. This is exactly the kind of thing that destroys creativity and the evolution of the arts.

Anyway, check out the article!

It's all cool,

Brent Hartinger

Daily Writing Tips (That Also Apply to Life!)

2009-01-04T06:33:58Z

So I mentioned before that I've started Twittering (which is short little snippets of information sent to computers or media devices). But what exactly am I Twittering about?

In addition to my entertainment-related reviews and musings, I've also started a new feature called Daily Writing Tips (That Also Apply to Life). In other words, not only do you learn how to be a better writer, you learn how to live a better life!

I know--that's a lot to promise from a simple Tweet. What can I say? I'm just brimming over with wisdom, apparently.

Anyway, my writing/life lessons will be delivered directly to you via Twitter...well, not necessarily daily, but at least semi-regularly.

Here are my first three tips:

Don't save the good stuff for the sequel (there won't necessarily be one!).
No one, not even your mom, is very interested in hearing how incredibly clever you are.
Get to the Goddamn point!

See how they apply to be writing and life? Get it?

Hey, I never claimed to be Aristotle, okay?

Anyway, sign up here.

It's all cool,

Brent Hartinger

My Books:

* Project Sweet Life (coming in February 2009!)
* Dreamquest
* Split Screen: Attack of the Soul-Sucking Brain Zombies/Bride of the Soul-Sucking Brain Zombies
* Grand & Humble
* The Order of the Poison Oak
* The Last Chance Texaco
* Geography Club

Explore "Brent's Brain"
I Twitter

I'm Wireless, Yet Weirdly Wired!

2009-01-01T20:23:02Z

I got myself an iPhone for Christmas, and I am astounded by how cool it is. Michael has had a Blackberry for ages, and it truly looks like an antique compared to the iPhone--which doesn't just have access to the entire internet (plus tens of thousands of really, really cool downloadable applications), it's also really easy to use. Unlike the Blackberry, which is like a mini-computer (and, ergo, really difficult to use because it's a mini-computer and you're all thumbs), the iPhone has completely re-thought the "mobile device" interface to make it make sense as, well, a mobile device.

The price is also way down, to $199 each. (My friend Sarah, who convinced me to get an iPhone, bought hers a couple of weeks ago for $499 so, being a former Catholic, I feel intensely guilty about this.)

Listen to me. I sound like a commercial! Geez, I just might have to buy myself a Mac.

Incidentally, I'm also Twittering (brenthartinger), and I'm now on Facebook (Brent Hartinger).

Can you say media-overload?

What can I say? I'm having fun. But Michael and I have a rule: all media devices (except for occasional TV) off by 8 PM--6 PM on school nights. So far, it's working well.

It's all cool,

Brent Hartinger

First PROJECT SWEET LIFE Reviews

2008-11-15T08:16:54Z

Oh, geez, have I really not blogged since September? Well, I am, you know, writing these books and screenplays, not to mention blogging and vlogging for my partner's website, AfterElton.com, and also about to launch a new, special-interest website of my own (very exciting--more details soon). Plus, I was pretty wrapped up in the election.

All I'll say about that is...Sarah Palin? Really? Boy, reality sure is subjective (but not that subjective, given the results of the election).

Anyway, this is all still no excuse for not blogging.

So what's new? The first reviews for Project Sweet Life, my latest teen book which is coming in February, are starting to trickle in. Here are the first two:

“Fifteen-year-old Dave and his buddies Victor and Curtis are shocked when their fathers demand they get summer jobs. As the boys glumly contemplate actual work, they decide to deceive their families, avoid employment, and live the sweet life for one last summer. Still, they need to figure out a way to make money, which they can pass off to their parents as hard-earned wages. In a series of ill-fated schemes that range from bank stakeouts to scuba diving, the boys weave a complicated and uncomfortable web of lies and rack up a large debt. At last, they try a desperate plan to locate stolen gold that plunges them into the China Tunnels, a remnant of a black time in the history of Tacoma, Washington. Hartinger's comedy of errors is improbable, but entertaining. The characters ring true, and teens will appreciate that the trio puts more effort into evading work than they would have expended at a real job. An amusing story with great teen appeal.”

-- Booklist

“Funny and touching at turns, this is a terrific book for boys (though not limited to them, of course) who want humor in books. It would have been easy for the humor to get out of hand and to overtake what is, in essence, a bit of a coming of age story. However, Hartinger manages to have some fun without going over the top. Victor, Curtis, and Dave are interesting guys. I might even enjoy hanging out with them in their bomb shelter!”

-- The Goddess of YA Literature

I'm very pleased with these (but have been around long enough to know that good reviews do not a hit book make!). Anyway, I'm sure they'll be many more soon, so I'm keeping my ego on ice and my fingers tightly crossed.

It's all cool,

Brent Hartinger

Words of Wisdom?

2008-09-26T03:16:29Z

In honor of the ten-year anniversary of my dear friend (truly!) Cynthia Leitich Smith's terrific blog Cynsations, she asked me (and other writers) to answer this question:

Over the past decade, what are the most important lessons you've learned about your craft, the writing/artistic life, and/or publishing, and why?

Here's the answer I came up with:

That I'm absolutely crazy-insane to make my living as a writer of fiction, and that I wouldn't have it any other way.

Lately I've been doing some work for some friends producing online content, so I've had a chance to really compare the two mediums: publishing versus the Internet.

And after ten years in publishing, I kind of have to describe it as something of a harsh, desolated crack expanse of earth, where you maybe can grow enough food to eat, but it's really, really hard. You have to know exactly what you're doing and, frankly, you have to have a lot of luck.

Meanwhile, the Internet world is like that scene in The Magician's Nephew [by C. S. Lewis, 1955] where Narnia is only a couple of hours old and everything is lush and rich and productive. Bury a toffee in the ground, and a couple of hours later you have a toffee tree!

Basically, if you're smart and you have talent and you work hard, you'll be a huge success in the world of the Internet. But in publishing? Well...that's just not necessarily true.

Okay, now that I've completely depressed you, let me know also say that working in publishing can still be extremely satisfying--more satisfying than working in the Internet.

Why? Because the people who still read books, though they're decreasing in numbers and influence, are some of the best, smartest people in the world.

And the people who still choose to work in publishing, they're some of the nicest people in the world.

Finally, the whole process of creating characters and inventing stories for them to inhabit?

It's just so phenomenally, wonderfully satisfying. That's why a lot of people do it even without getting paid. So imagine a situation where you do get paid for it--and get gushing fan mail to boot! It's still a pretty heady thrill.

What am I saying? Basically, that it's an incredibly tough business, getting tougher every day. And yet, somehow, it's still a wonderfully satisfying life.

I confess, I might change my mind in a few years if things get too much worse. But for the time being, it's still a pretty easy call: I absolutely love being a writer.

It's all cool,

Brent Hartinger

USA Today Likes Me!

2008-09-20T18:22:45Z

USA Today had very nice things to say about my Russel Middlebrook series this week in a list of "twenty five great high school books," saying Geography Club was an "emotional and funny story" and that the whole series is "entertaining for all readers, regardless of their sexuality."
Been busy here as usual, getting ready for the publication of Project Sweet Life, my latest teen book, coming in February (about a group of guys who are forced to get summer jobs by their dads, invent fake jobs to satisfy them, and then embark on a series of get-rich-quick schemes to make the money they should have made from the summer jobs). I'm also just finishing my 2010 novel, Rob Hood, about a guy who decides to reorder the social order of his high school, using schemes and tricks to "steal" popularity from the popular and give it to the less-popular. I guess I'm entering the "comedy of errors" or "comic farce" phase of my career. But the thing is, I've always loved writing humor, and these books also lend themselves to intricate plotting, which is very important to me. Let's hope readers follow me down this new path!

I have yet another editor at HarperCollins (my eighth overall, I think). Her name is Susan Rich, and she discovered and edited the Lemony Snicket A Series of Unfortunate Events books. She seems very nice so far. I introduced myself as the Editor Destroyer, which I guess I am. (Not really. Turn-over in editors has always been high, and lately it's gotten very, very high. You know how they say it's never a good time to try to get a job in publishing? They're still right.)

It's all cool,

Brent Hartinger

The Wrap (with Two Gay Guys) #4: Did George Lucas Have a Brain Aneurysm?

2008-08-22T05:11:51Z

Another week, another vlog! This week, we're feeling cranky, but only because we watched some pretty terrible stuff, including the awful new Star Wars movie and the BBC American series Skins.

Gay video from AfterElton.com

It's all cool,

Brent Hartinger

My Books:

* Dreamquest
* Split Screen: Attack of the Soul-Sucking Brain Zombies/Bride of the Soul-Sucking Brain Zombies
* Grand & Humble
* The Order of the Poison Oak
* The Last Chance Texaco
* Geography Club

Explore "Brent's Brain"

The Wrap (with Two Gay Guys) #3: New Media, Kathy Griffin, and Gay Movies!

2008-08-14T18:31:53Z

This week, Michael and I discuss "new media" (it's not as boring as it sounds!), whether Kathy Griffin has finally gone too far, and the top fifty gay movies of all time!

Gay video from AfterElton.com

The Wrap (With Two Gay Guys): Vampires Suck!

2008-08-13T02:03:44Z

Vampires suck as a gay metaphor! Or so Michael and I say in this week's installment of The Wrap.

We also spread some love for Mamma Mia and the criminally underappreciated Christine Baranski, debate Weeds' big gay reveal of two weeks ago, and Michael shares an anecdote about his recent TCA meet up with actor Justin Kirk.

Check all this and more out, after the break!

Gay video from AfterElton.com

Explore "Brent's Brain"

New Vlog! The Wrap (With Two Gay Guys)

2008-07-31T04:25:13Z

It's the debut of our new vlog, where we "wrap up" the week's gay entertainment news! This week...homophobia in the new X-Files movie, why the critics might be dissing Mamma Mia!, and the controversy/debate over some extremely bigoted comments by science fiction writer Orson Scott Card, after the jump!

Gay video from AfterElton.com

Explore "Brent's Brain"

The Story of My Life!

2008-07-26T18:59:40Z

Hey, there's a really great bio of me (written by Kimberly Pauley of YA Books Central who has a book of her own, Sucks to be Me, coming out this month) over at GLTBQ.com, an "encyclopedia" of gay issues:

Although best known as a prolific writer of young adult fiction, Brent Hartinger is also a playwright and a mentor for other writers and students. In addition, he is an activist against censorship, particularly of works intended for children and young people.
Born in 1964, Hartinger attended Catholic grade school and high school. He graduated from high school in June 1983. He received his B.A. in psychology and political science from Gonzaga University in Spokane, Washington in 1986, completing a four-year program in three years. He also completed the coursework for a master's degree in psychology at the same university, though, much to the chagrin of his mother, he declined to write his thesis.
Hartinger began writing at an early age by publishing his own newspaper called The Weekly Worm in the third grade, though it was not until after college that he made the decision to write full-time. His work has been wide-ranging, including novels, plays, articles, essays, newspaper columns, and even greeting card copy.
As with many authors, success for Hartinger did not come early or easily. He spent fifteen years trying to get a novel published while supporting himself as a freelance writer and teen counselor. He even worked as an extra in the movie Come See the Paradise (1991, directed by Alan Parker), which starred Dennis Quaid.

READ THE REST

It's all cool,

Brent Hartinger

My Books:

* Dreamquest
* Split Screen: Attack of the Soul-Sucking Brain Zombies/Bride of the Soul-Sucking Brain Zombies
* Grand & Humble
* The Order of the Poison Oak
* The Last Chance Texaco
* Geography Club

Explore "Brent's Brain"
See my gay entertaiment video blog, "Two Gay Guys"

TWO GAY GUYS: Sex and the City...and Same-Sex Marriage

2008-06-18T18:44:46Z

Michael and I take on the California marriage decision...and parody the new Sex and the City movie at the same time!

Explore "Brent's Brain"
See my gay entertaiment video blog, "Two Gay Guys"

Lambda Award Winner!

2008-06-01T18:03:34Z

Hey, my book, Split Screen: Attack of the Soul-Sucking Brain Zombies/Bride of the Soul-Sucking Brain Zombies (the latest Russel Middlebrook book, which is two books in one) just won the Lambda Literary Award (which is the award given every year for the best in GLBT literature).

It was recognized for its portrayal of bisexuals--Min is bisexual in her "book." I've long felt get ignored in literature, especially teen lit, so I'm thrilled!

I'll post a picture of the trophy once I get it, because I'm curious to see what it looks like.

It's all cool,

Brent Hartinger

My Books:

* Dreamquest
* Split Screen: Attack of the Soul-Sucking Brain Zombies/Bride of the Soul-Sucking Brain Zombies
* Grand & Humble
* The Order of the Poison Oak
* The Last Chance Texaco
* Geography Club

Explore "Brent's Brain"
See my gay entertaiment video blog, "Two Gay Guys"

INDIANA JONES AND THE TEMPLE OF REALLY SERIOUS, RIDICULOUSLY DANGEROUS DOOM

2008-05-31T18:16:53Z

So every year I participate in something called the DoubleShot Festival, wherein playwrights such as myself are given a topic at 9 PM Friday night and expected to turn in a one-act play at 8 AM the following morning, which is then rehearsed and performed that night. A new fully produced play in less than 24 hours!

The topic this year was "History's bitch! Or the problem with being so damn modern."

So, in honor of the new Indiana Jones movie (which I didn't really like and hadn't seen when I wrote this), here's the play I came up with:

INDIANA JONES AND THE TEMPLE OF REALLY SERIOUS, FANTASTICALLY OVERWHELMING, RIDICULOUSLY DANGEROUS DOOM

By Brent Hartinger

SETTING: (It is an ancient temple. A golden idol sits on a pedestal.)

AT RISE: (The music to the Indiana Jones movies plays. INDIANA JONES enters (wearing a leather jacket, khaki pants, brown shoes, a safari hat, and a coiled whip at his waist). As the music continues to play, he creeps to the pedestal, glancing cautiously around. Once at the pedestal, he pulls a small bag of sand from his jacket. He looks between the bag and the idol, scratching his chin thoughtfully. He lifts the bag of sand, pours a little out, all the while gauging its weight with his hand. When he thinks it’s about the same weight as the idol, he lifts it next to the idol, then quickly snatches the idol with one hand while replacing it with the bag of sand with the other; the pedestal is rigged to release a trap the moment the idol is removed, but bag of the sand will hopefully keep the trap in check. Indiana glances around, expecting the worse, but nothing happens. He has succeeded in capturing the idol! The music swells. Note: this is all taken from the opening sequence of Raiders of the Lost Ark).

INDIANA JONES: Yes!

(Pleased by his success, he turns to go. But that moment, BOKLAVA VON SNIPE enters from the opposite side. A villainess of the highest order, she is dressed all in black, holds a riding crop, and speaks with a thick accent of indeterminate origin. Note: it is impossible to camp up this role too much!)

BOKLAVA: Not so fast, Dr. Jones!

(Indiana whirls in surprise.)

SFX: the music fades out.

INDIANA JONES: Well, well, well, if it isn’t Boklava Snipe.

BOKLAVA: At last ve meet again!

INDIANA JONES: What do you want, Boklava?

(She waves her riding crop, perhaps seductively.)

BOKLAVA: Vhat do you think? I vant the idol, of course.

INDIANA JONES: Well, you can’t have it! This thing belongs in a museum, and that’s exactly where I’m taking it.

(He puts the idol in his jacket pocket and turns to go. Boklava speaks, stopping him.)

BOKLAVA: But you still need to get out of this temple, Dr. Jones. And there are certain, shall ve say...traps still to be evaded! But just say the vord, and I’ll show you the safe vay out. In exchange for the golden idol, of course!

INDIANA JONES: No chance, Boklava! There’s nothing I can’t handle. I’ve already gotten past the pit trap, the giant rolling ball trap, and the toasted s’mores trap...

BOKLAVA: Oh, but those vere all mere trifles compared to this last challenge!

INDIANA JONES: What challenge?

ANDREA (from off-stage): Indiana? Indiana Jones?

BOKLAVA (dramatically): The Challenge...of the Potentially Pissed-Off Girlfriend!

(In big flourish, Boklava withdraws. As she does, Indiana’s girlfriend ANDREA enters. She is wearing everyday clothing--a sharp contrast with both Indiana and Boklava.)

INDIANA JONES (surprised to see her): Andrea?

ANDREA: There you are, Indy! I’ve been looking all over for you!

(She immediately takes his hand.)

INDIANA JONES: You have? Why?

(At that, she immediately pulls away again.)

ANDREA: Oh. So your forgot, did you?

INDIANA JONES: No! I didn’t forget!

(to himself)

What didn’t I forget?

ANDREA: Yeah? Then what is it? What’s today?

(Indiana draws out each word, trying to guess the truth from Andrea’s reaction to each guess.)

INDIANA JONES: It’s...your birrrrrthdaaaaaaa...our anniversssssaaaaaaa...the day we go shoooooooopppppping ...fooooooooorrrrrr...
furrrrnniiittturrrrr....

(Andrea registers nothing, and Indiana still doesn’t have a clue. Boklava appears in the background, behind Andrea.)

BOKLAVA (whispering): Just say the vord, Indiana Jones, and I’ll get you out of this! Just say the vord!

(But suddenly Indiana remembers!)

INDIANA JONES: Open houses! We were going to spend the day looking at open houses!

SFX: Indiana Jones theme song begins to play again

ANDREA: You remembered!

(She steps forward and hugs him.)

INDIANA JONES: Of course I remembered, honey! You didn’t think I’d forget something as important as that, did you?

BOKLAVA (with a clenched fist): Lucky guess, Dr. Jones. But you’re not out of the temple yet!

(Hearing Boklava, Andrea turns to see who has spoken. But by then, Boklava has retreated back into the shadows.)

SFX: The music fades out.

ANDREA (to Indiana): Indy, can I ask you something?

INDIANA JONES: Sure, honey. What is it?

ANDREA: What do you spend so much time in these ancient temples?

INDIANA JONES: Well, it’s my work.

ANDREA: But you always leave me home alone. It makes me end up feeling like history’s bitch.

INDIANA JONES: Well, that’s the problem with being so damn modern.

ANDREA: What?

INDIANA JONES: What what?

ANDREA: Did you just accuse me of being a shrill feminist?

INDIANA JONES: No! No, you’re not that at all!

ANDREA: So you don’t think I’m a feminist?

INDIANA JONES: No! You are!

ANDREA: Which means you think I’m unfeminine.

INDIANA JONES: No! That’s not what I meant at all!

ANDREA: Well, what did you mean?

INDIANA JONES: I meant...uh...

(As Indiana is at a loss for words, Boklava steps out of the shadows again.)

BOKLAVA: The idol, Dr. Jones! Just give me the golden idol!

ANDREA: Indiana? What did you mean?

INDIANA JONES: Uh...I meant...well...um...

(Indiana grows increasingly panicked. He looks down at the golden idol in his pocket and over at Boklava, who is reaching out to him.)

BOKLAVA: Give it to me!

(But then suddenly Indiana has the answer!)

INDIANA JONES (calmly, sincerely): Honey, I think your being a feminist makes you more feminine. It’s one of the things that most attracts me to you!

SFX: Indiana Jones theme music

(Andrea is touched. Indiana has said exactly the right thing.)

ANDREA: Really?

INDIANA JONES: Really!

(As she hugs him again, Indiana sighs a heavy sigh of relief.)

SFX: The music fades out.

(They turn to leave again.)

ANDREA: Hey, guess what Ellen told me?

INDIANA JONES: What?

ANDREA: She asked Greg what his biggest sexual fantasy was, and he said it was to be with her and another woman. And you know what she said?

INDIANA JONES: Um...what?

ANDREA: She said yes! So now they’re going to put an add on Craig’s list, looking for another women!

INDIANA JONES: Really...

ANDREA: Yes, really. What would you think about that?

INDIANA JONES (nervously): Uh, what do I think about what?

ANDREA: Well, the idea of a threeway with me and another woman.

(It is clear that Indiana is very, very turned on. But at the same time, he’s terrified to admit that, for fear that that isn’t what Andrea wants to hear.)

INDIANA JONES: What do I...think?

ANDREA: Yes. Is that something you’d ever want to do? I want you to tell me the complete truth.

INDIANA JONES (under his breath): Like hell you do.

ANDREA: What’s that?

INDIANA JONES: Nothing! Well, honey, what do you think about a threeway with you and another woman?

ANDREA: I don’t want to tell you. I want to know what you think first.

INDIANA JONES: I, uhhh, see.

(Indiana continues to be torn between the possibility that Andrea might actually be okay with his total sexual fantasy...and the possibility that she’s using this as a test of his commitment. Behind Andrea, Boklava emerges from the shadows again. She says nothing, simply begins to laugh, an evil cackle that goes on and on growing louder and louder.)

ANDREA: Indiana? Tell me what you think.

INDIANA JONES: I think...I think...I think it’s time for your present!

(Boklava stops laughing in a hurry.)

ANDREA: My present? What present?

(With a flourish, he pulls the golden idol from his jacket.)

SFX: Indiana Jones theme music

INDIANA JONES: This present!

(ANDREA stares at it.)

ANDREA: What is it?

INDIANA JONES: It’s solid gold, that’s what it is! You could melt it down and turn it into almost anything you want!

ANDREA: Really? But shouldn’t this be in a museum?

INDIANA JONES: Screw that! And look! Here we are, at the door to the temple. Out we go!

BOKLAVA (from behind): Quick thinking, Dr. Jones! You and your feminist girlfriend have escaped this time. But don’t think this is over!

SFX: Theme music stops suddenly.

ANDREA: Feminist? Did she just call me a feminist?

INDIANA JONES: I think she did.

(Andrea turns on Boklava.)

ANDREA: Did you mean it as a good thing or a bad thing?

BOKLAVA: Vhat? Vell, uh, that depends on vhat you think.

ANDREA: I think I want to know how you meant it!

(As Boklava mutters incoherently, Andrea keeps stepping toward her, pushing her back off-stage.)

BOKLAVA: Vell, I, uhhhh...I’m not...I don’t...

(Finally, Boklava "falls" off-stage. Suddenly, she screams out in horrible pain.)

INDIANA JONES: Yikes. Right into the s’mores. Well, so much for her. Now let’s go look at those open houses!

ANDREA: Okay.

(They start to exit, but Andrea stops.)

ANDREA: By the way, I’ve been meaning to ask you: Do you think these pants make me look fat?

(Indiana stops suddenly, stares out at the audience, defeated.)

(BLACK OUT)

END OF PLAY

It's all cool,

Brent Hartinger

My Books:

* Dreamquest
* Split Screen: Attack of the Soul-Sucking Brain Zombies/Bride of the Soul-Sucking Brain Zombies
* Grand & Humble
* The Order of the Poison Oak
* The Last Chance Texaco
* Geography Club

Explore "Brent's Brain"
See my gay entertaiment video blog, "Two Gay Guys"

On Paperback Releases...and "Branding" as an Author

2008-05-12T02:48:24Z

Can I make a confession? I hate promoting my hardcover releases. It always makes me feel like a hypocrite: I occasionally buy hardcovers of beloved books as gifts, but I rarely buy books for myself when they're new releases (even when I hear good things, I usually wait for the paperback). Who has $16.99 to spend on a book you may not even finish? And it's even worse for authors of brand new "adult" books who are asking readings to take an utterly ridiculous $24.99 leap of faith!

But the hardcover is where it's at as far as publishers are concerned; this is where they make their money, and it's basically when they determine whether a book is a "success" or not (which plays into how much subsequent attention they give a book and/or author, and how much they pay an author for future books!).

So I can't afford to not promote my hardcovers; my career depends upon it. I just end up feeling really, really guilty about it.

All this brings me to my point: my last novel, Dreamquest, is now out in paperback (with a snazzy new cover, above!). So now I can enthusiastically urge you to run to your nearest independent bookseller to pick up a copy immediately.

Dreamquest is my first children's book (for readers 8 and older). It's the story of a young girl plagued by nightmares who wakes up one night in "Slumberia," the magical land inside her own brain where they "film" her nightmares. Feeling powerless in "real" life, but determined to put an end to her nightmares for good, she goes on a quest to find out who is responsible for her nightmares: the hapless, powerless dreamwriter? The shadowy dream-producer who lives in a far-away castle? The mysterious dream-executives who live in towering Nightmare City? Along the way, Julie meets a group of Oz-like friends: a gentle shark, an optimistic glowworm, and a handsome boy named Roman.

(Needless to say, all this is based on my experiences living and working as a screenwriter in Hollywood in the late 1990s. So while this is technically a "children's book," I'd like to think this element of satire gives it far more adult-crossover potential than most other children's books.)

I'm very proud of Dreamquest, which I hope will be the first in a series, Tales of Slumberia. So pick up a copy now! (It's only $5.99! What a bargain!)

But this brings me to my second point. Dreamquest is very different from my other books; not only is it for kids, it's a fantasy. Which I know causes no end of confusion on the part of readers and book-buyers. When people buy a book by "Brent Hartinger," they expect a certain kind of thing (which is cool; I'm proud of all my books and my little niche in the teen lit genre).

That said, every author I know, while absolutely appreciating existing readers, yearns to try different things, to explore different stories and characters--and hopes fervently that his current fans will be sporting enough to follow him to new and (hopefully) exciting places and genres.

That's my hope anyway. And that's my pitch for Dreamquest!

It's all cool,

Brent Hartinger

My Books:

* Dreamquest
* Split Screen: Attack of the Soul-Sucking Brain Zombies/Bride of the Soul-Sucking Brain Zombies
* Grand & Humble
* The Order of the Poison Oak
* The Last Chance Texaco
* Geography Club

Explore "Brent's Brain"
See my gay entertaiment video blog, "Two Gay Guys"

Which Narnian King Am I?

2008-05-02T18:12:11Z

Did a brief interview with Teen Libris about an essay I wrote for Through the Wardrobe, a new Narnia anthology. Here's a bit:

Q: Which king or queen of Narnia would you say you're most like?

A: What an interesting question. I would say I'm like Lucy or Peter-- sensitive and kind or noble and brave. But the truth is I'm probably more like Edmond-- flawed, but ultimately decent.

Q: Why did you decide to write for teens?

A: A complete fluke. My book was about a teen character, so my agent said, "This is young adult." I was, of course, completely offended. Then I started reading the books, and I realized how unbelievably strong the genre is. The average teen book is far better than the average adult book, I'd say. Because we're supposedly writing for media-addled "reluctant readers," we're supposed to pay more attention to plot and economy of language. But I happen to think that's just plain good writing!

In retrospect, I can see it's the perfect fit. I always say about teen lit, almost everyone alive today either is teenager, or was one once. So they're truly universal stories! Everyone can relate.

Q: The Chronicles of Narnia were initially written for Lewis's niece Lucy. Do you ever have so specific an audience for your books?

A: I try not to think too much about my audience. Though I think, like all authors, I wrote mostly for myself-- the book I would like to read. As a general rule, though, it's essential to assume your audience is really, really smart-much smarter than you. That's been the case with my readers anyway. (See how I flatter them shamelessly?)

Explore "Brent's Brain"
See my gay entertaiment video blog, "Two Gay Guys"

Voices In My Head (Brent's Blog)

Hey, I Made Urban Dictionary!

What's On My Mind

Two Kinda Cool Things

Presented Without Comment

GEOGRAPHY CLUB Under Fire Again: My Response

So Speaking of My Latest Book...

Wherein I Go to Mr. Gay World!

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USA Today Likes Me!

The Wrap (with Two Gay Guys) #4: Did George Lucas Have a Brain Aneurysm?

The Wrap (with Two Gay Guys) #3: New Media, Kathy Griffin, and Gay Movies!

The Wrap (With Two Gay Guys): Vampires Suck!

New Vlog! The Wrap (With Two Gay Guys)

The Story of My Life!

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Lambda Award Winner!

INDIANA JONES AND THE TEMPLE OF *REALLY SERIOUS*, *RIDICULOUSLY DANGEROUS* DOOM

On Paperback Releases...and "Branding" as an Author

Which Narnian King Am I?

INDIANA JONES AND THE TEMPLE OF REALLY SERIOUS, RIDICULOUSLY DANGEROUS DOOM